If the Swedes can't be racist enough in their commercials - now they're going the low blow...making fun of people with Down's Syndrome.
Yeah, that really makes me want to go shop at ICA.
It's bad enough the "Ha, ha...immigrants are funny and weird!" commercials are a big hit over here (a post will be made about that later) but damn people...picking on the mentally challenged in order to sell some fuckin' groceries?
You people suck.
"Jerry" in the ICA commercials:
Seriously Swedish people...why you gotta be asshats like that? What's wrong with you?
Showing posts with label Commercials. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commercials. Show all posts
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Commercials that SCREAM 1980's!
Some things were best left in the 80's. Remember any of these gems? Some are so awfully 80's...they just couldn't fit in any other decade.
*wonders if Britt owned any of these*
Spectra:
Leon Neon:
My Sweet 16:
Get in Shape Girl:
Maxie:
Little Miss Magic Hair:
*wonders if Britt owned any of these*
Spectra:
Leon Neon:
My Sweet 16:
Get in Shape Girl:
Maxie:
Little Miss Magic Hair:
Thursday, August 21, 2008
SEVEN Of The Most Seriously Fucked Up Low Budget Commercials
You just have to love some of these low budget commercials. I've listed a few of my faves.
#1: DIRT CHEAP LIQUOR STORES
Hey kids, it's Hangover, the loveable chicken! Why settle for playing guitar hero with your friends after school? You should be partying hard like the big kids - by doing body shots off a hooker named "Lucy Loose"! And at Dirt Cheap, you can get all the Night Train needed for a night of CHEAP CHEAP FUN FUN and you'd barely have to dip into your school's bake sale profits. YAY! Booze for everyone!
#2: EAGLE CAR INSURANCE
I see this company decided to throw "reputable" and "trustworthy" out the window. But kudos to them, instead of spending big bucks on good actors they opted to just get a few "choice" women that hang out behind the local bowling alley and get them stoned out of their mind and promised to make them TV stars. And with all that money they saved on actors - they were able to stretch that special effects budget and provide us with some unforgettable sound effects as a MALE eagle shits out an egg on their car. I'd say it was money well spent!
3: MARTIN FURNITURE
Okay, I'm stumped. I can't decide which is weirder - that the "martians" look like women in cheap "fish" costumes, or that they're REALLY FUCKIN' HAPPY to be blasted by the old geezer with the lazer gun. Wonder if he gives a discount for the nasty martian splooge left on the couch? I want 20% off or at least a free scotchguarding so it won't happen again dammit!
4: TOWN AND COUNTRY FURNITURE:
Ever wonder how us Texans manage to sell furniture when all those wacky yankees have laser guns and other shit at their disposal? How could we possibly compete? With a strong redneck sense of determination and a baseball bat of course!
Take that you cheap dresser! YEE-HAW!
5: GEORGIA CAR CREDIT:
Cuz pimpin' in da deep south ain't easy yo!
6: SMART BEEP:
Though not low budget like the others, this is still one of my faves, a total classic. Not suprisingly, my first pager was with these bastards. Probably because of their awesome commercials.
7: BIG BILL HELL'S USED CARS:
Okay, I know this is not a "real" aired commercial per se, but dammit - it is awesome!
Shove it up yer ugly ass. LOL.
#1: DIRT CHEAP LIQUOR STORES
Hey kids, it's Hangover, the loveable chicken! Why settle for playing guitar hero with your friends after school? You should be partying hard like the big kids - by doing body shots off a hooker named "Lucy Loose"! And at Dirt Cheap, you can get all the Night Train needed for a night of CHEAP CHEAP FUN FUN and you'd barely have to dip into your school's bake sale profits. YAY! Booze for everyone!
#2: EAGLE CAR INSURANCE
I see this company decided to throw "reputable" and "trustworthy" out the window. But kudos to them, instead of spending big bucks on good actors they opted to just get a few "choice" women that hang out behind the local bowling alley and get them stoned out of their mind and promised to make them TV stars. And with all that money they saved on actors - they were able to stretch that special effects budget and provide us with some unforgettable sound effects as a MALE eagle shits out an egg on their car. I'd say it was money well spent!
3: MARTIN FURNITURE
Okay, I'm stumped. I can't decide which is weirder - that the "martians" look like women in cheap "fish" costumes, or that they're REALLY FUCKIN' HAPPY to be blasted by the old geezer with the lazer gun. Wonder if he gives a discount for the nasty martian splooge left on the couch? I want 20% off or at least a free scotchguarding so it won't happen again dammit!
4: TOWN AND COUNTRY FURNITURE:
Ever wonder how us Texans manage to sell furniture when all those wacky yankees have laser guns and other shit at their disposal? How could we possibly compete? With a strong redneck sense of determination and a baseball bat of course!
Take that you cheap dresser! YEE-HAW!
5: GEORGIA CAR CREDIT:
Cuz pimpin' in da deep south ain't easy yo!
6: SMART BEEP:
Though not low budget like the others, this is still one of my faves, a total classic. Not suprisingly, my first pager was with these bastards. Probably because of their awesome commercials.
7: BIG BILL HELL'S USED CARS:
Okay, I know this is not a "real" aired commercial per se, but dammit - it is awesome!
Shove it up yer ugly ass. LOL.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A Homage to Daytime TV Commercials
I would like to dedicate this blog to the unsung American hero: crappy daytime TV commercials.
I don't know what I find more offensive, the commercials themselves or who they assume their target audience is. Because boys and girls, if you sitting at home watching TV in the middle of a weekday while the other Americans are out there working their asses off, in American terms you, you lazy schmuck watching a rerun of Judge Judy are now classified as a "loser".
If you are at home watching TV at 10:30 a.m., (according to the advertisers who target you during these times) you must not be at work, so you MUST either be:
1. Some idiot who can't get a job. (This includes junkies, dropouts, single moms, "mamma's boys" locked in their parent's basement, a hillbilly, or a welfare-skeezing tramp who needs to call and get a paternity test from some DNA center so you can collect your child support later from whichever lucky man who got to be your "baby's daddy".
2. Some rich fuck who won the lottery but needs to call and get your lottery allocations consolidated into one lump sum.
3. Some schmuck who used to work but got injured on the job or in a car accident on your way to work that needs to call a lawyer NOW to get that settlement money you deserve comin' to you!
4. Some fat pathetic bastard who can no longer fit through the front door to get to work.
5. Some old fart who probably cant walk so you better call hoverround and get your mobility chair. Oh, and since you're old...that means you probably are going to die soon so you better call and get your ass some cheap life insurance. And if life has taught us anything, old people all have diabeetus. So you better get on the phone to Liberty and get yer "free testin' supplies".
The above reasons are the only viable excuses (according to the commercial advertisers) as to why anyone is home watching the 1:30 p.m. broadcast of Montel, dammit.
Don't believe me? Here's a few gems I saw today that made me snicker:
Hey you...yeah you asshole teenage boy who refuses to get the fuck outta the house and go to a real college...why stop sitting on your ass playing video games when you could turn your lazy slacking skills into a viable career?
Hey you, dipshit who needs to sue sombody over an accident...how about hiring a lawyer that doesn't sleep at night (and it seems to show) plus who uses a snazzy background video playing behind him that probably were ripped off of some "best of Nascar Crashes" tape? NOTE: Check out the background video at :17 for a special suprise......you won't want to miss it. Hahahahahahahahaha! "LOL" indeed.
Single mom? Get off your ass and pay the bills, bitch!
Hey you, you old ensure-chugging geezer! Tired of being stuck in your armchair unable to get up? Well, since your kids are obviously not coming to visit you it's time to get your wrinkled ass a hoverround. Immediately you will be able to gain the mobility and independance of previous years, and will be able to do all those basic things you miss doing, like going shopping, enjoying a picnic, or perhaps cruising down to the local mall where you can impress the young whippersnappers by doing some creepy old-person wheelchair synchronized line dancing with all the other hoverround-using zombies. Woot!
Don't think we left out you, you fat lazy men! Larry the Cable guy says call Nutrisystem and "Git-r-done"! Weight loss isn't just for the ladies anymore!
Too many more to list tonight, maybe I'll add a second part later. :)
I don't know what I find more offensive, the commercials themselves or who they assume their target audience is. Because boys and girls, if you sitting at home watching TV in the middle of a weekday while the other Americans are out there working their asses off, in American terms you, you lazy schmuck watching a rerun of Judge Judy are now classified as a "loser".
If you are at home watching TV at 10:30 a.m., (according to the advertisers who target you during these times) you must not be at work, so you MUST either be:
1. Some idiot who can't get a job. (This includes junkies, dropouts, single moms, "mamma's boys" locked in their parent's basement, a hillbilly, or a welfare-skeezing tramp who needs to call and get a paternity test from some DNA center so you can collect your child support later from whichever lucky man who got to be your "baby's daddy".
2. Some rich fuck who won the lottery but needs to call and get your lottery allocations consolidated into one lump sum.
3. Some schmuck who used to work but got injured on the job or in a car accident on your way to work that needs to call a lawyer NOW to get that settlement money you deserve comin' to you!
4. Some fat pathetic bastard who can no longer fit through the front door to get to work.
5. Some old fart who probably cant walk so you better call hoverround and get your mobility chair. Oh, and since you're old...that means you probably are going to die soon so you better call and get your ass some cheap life insurance. And if life has taught us anything, old people all have diabeetus. So you better get on the phone to Liberty and get yer "free testin' supplies".
The above reasons are the only viable excuses (according to the commercial advertisers) as to why anyone is home watching the 1:30 p.m. broadcast of Montel, dammit.
Don't believe me? Here's a few gems I saw today that made me snicker:
Hey you...yeah you asshole teenage boy who refuses to get the fuck outta the house and go to a real college...why stop sitting on your ass playing video games when you could turn your lazy slacking skills into a viable career?
Hey you, dipshit who needs to sue sombody over an accident...how about hiring a lawyer that doesn't sleep at night (and it seems to show) plus who uses a snazzy background video playing behind him that probably were ripped off of some "best of Nascar Crashes" tape? NOTE: Check out the background video at :17 for a special suprise......you won't want to miss it. Hahahahahahahahaha! "LOL" indeed.
Single mom? Get off your ass and pay the bills, bitch!
Hey you, you old ensure-chugging geezer! Tired of being stuck in your armchair unable to get up? Well, since your kids are obviously not coming to visit you it's time to get your wrinkled ass a hoverround. Immediately you will be able to gain the mobility and independance of previous years, and will be able to do all those basic things you miss doing, like going shopping, enjoying a picnic, or perhaps cruising down to the local mall where you can impress the young whippersnappers by doing some creepy old-person wheelchair synchronized line dancing with all the other hoverround-using zombies. Woot!
Don't think we left out you, you fat lazy men! Larry the Cable guy says call Nutrisystem and "Git-r-done"! Weight loss isn't just for the ladies anymore!
Too many more to list tonight, maybe I'll add a second part later. :)
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