Judging...

So I came into work today-tired as hell cuz i stayed up till 5 watchin SG-1 and had to be to work at 10. Anyways as I get to work I see Bernes looking worse than me but with a big smile on his face. Upon being greeted with this sight two thoughts jumped into my head:


1. What the hell happened to his hair?

and
2. Why the hell is he smiling?

My questions were soon answered.

Apparently Bernes got lucky...
JUDGING! pre-marital sex is wrong, also sex is gross

last night (Tuesday)...
JUDGING! Tuesday?!?! sex on a school night?!?!

with a chick...
JUDGING! okay, well i guess a chick is better than a goat or vacuum

who he picked up at Kalle's...
JUDGING! Kalle's isn't exactly known for quality cunt

who is only 20!...
JUDGING! 20?!?! WTF?
-First of all, wrong and gross! He is like 3o+, he should know better!
-Secondly, What the fuck is wrong with this girl? When I was 20 I would not have gone home with and old dude!

who was sober...
JUDGING! this sort of behavior may be acceptable if your are flat on your ass drunk but not if you are sober or even sober-ish.

who gave him a shitty hair cut...
JUDGING! Seriously his hair looked like it was cut with a lawn mower. A hair cut that bad could be forgivable if you were coked out of your gourd or blind, but a sober person has no right purposely (or not) making someone look that bad with scissors! he has a nearly bald spot on the right side of his head!

before or after having UNPROTECTED SEX with him...
JUDGING!!!! can you say chlamydia? Bernes assured me that he asked her if she had HIV/AIDS before riding that pony, because a horny post-teen girl's word of not being a disease ridden cum-dumpster is golden. Why would she lie about having arm-chlamydia?? i was judging so hard today. Yuck! Apparently he never wraps us since that makes sex no-fun. Gross!! Penis! Yuck!

Thankfully I found this t-shirt, maybe we can convince Kalle's to sell them. It would be the hottest selling item in all Piteå Kommun

Note to self: Google Image Search for "Cum Dumpster" = okay
Yahoo Image Search for "Cum Dumpster" = Frightening!

Can I get a family-sized calzone? and other stupid Swedish questions....

hola honey!
How the hell is texas? been missin you, got no one to talk to..boo hoo for me!

Let me get you up to date with what has been happening..Yesterday (thursday) I woke up with a killer nose blled, one that got blood all over the bed and made me pretty much faint. i was sposed to be at work at 10 but didn't make it till 12 cuz I was so weak (i think it was from bleeding all over the bed and martin the night before when i was tucking him in and my nose decided to geyser out blood...) So i need to get that shit checked out when i get back to the states...

then later on that night, when i got home from work your husband sent an sms asking me if I wanted to drink some beers with him cuz he was bored, i said no cause I had to work. Turns out he went to Kalle's (well according to Bernes who saw him there). He asked me if your husband knew alot about cars cuz he was discussing them with the boys, talking like he knew shit... i just started to laugh and laugh and laugh..

So today I got up feeling just rotten, i thought it was allergies, so i took some benedryl, that didn't help, then i took some sudafed, that didn't help..so now I am guessing i have that cold that you were excpecting to get before you left...and let me tell you it sucks balls. my nose runs all the time, i am sneezing and it feels like my head is gonna explode...when I bend over i feel like i am gonna pass out... but i keep going to work cuz i gotta make that pizza dough (haha) and spread the wealth of my sickness to all the dumb swedes.. Damn they piss me off sometimes..so stupid..want to hit them with their fucking kebab pizzas.

Today I went to Danilelh (the bosnian girl)'s house to have coffee with her. i think you will love her. She smokes!!! She HATES the swedish health care system. She has a boil on her butt which the studid swedes gave her dandruff shampoo to treat it with ( she told me about on our first meeting, ..which reminds me so much about you..haha..so open..so great). Anywho..i'm gonna stay in contact with her cuz she is really unhappy and needs someone to bitch with..and the best part is... (well besides the fact that she smokes..she has cut down from 4 packs a day to 1 pack) SHE SPEAKS ENGLISH WITH ME!!!!

Other than that, just been chilling, bein sick. Gonna meet Minke tomorrow for coffee...wish you could be there, we could sit in Wayne's and watch people almost step in dog poo.
Isn't this pic great??.. saw it at ICA today.. "Fair and Gentle" sounds like a Craig's List description for fisting...fisting princess..they are fair and gentle.